A MEETING OF VIGILANTES

The weekend arrived and brought with it blessed junk food.

In Athens, Ohio, my vigilantes and I met at our secret and public meeting spot, Whit's Frozen Custard. We discussed politics, the female body, race in America. I got a hot dog. So did Jess. Christine got a banana split, because she's a classy broad who likes classic things. Susanna got six scoops of custard. So did Greg, except the cashier didn't warn him it might be too much custard because, well, gender. 

After our custard meeting, we then ordered pizza. Vaguely, niggling at the back of my cerebellum, I recognize that the pizza and custard I put into my body will probably have repercussions. But not now, and even then, I will have to do a cost-benefit analysis of taste to health when the moment of truth arrives.

vigilantes waiting for the arrival of pizza

vigilantes waiting for the arrival of pizza

I am wearing black tennis shoes. This is because my friend told me Gigi Hadid wears black Nikes and that she bought some as a result, and after that I could no longer exist without owning black Nikes just like Gigi. That may sound ridiculous, but I am also the target demographic for most E! network shows, so when you begin to contextualize my life in that way, it makes perfect sense that I would make decisions on whim based on a celebrity's instagram presence. 

jess's aesthetic

jess's aesthetic

Jess is wearing a backwards cap, which is her aesthetic. I would like to buy a Donald Trump "Make America Great Again" hat because I think they're pretty hilarious (this is not what Jess is wearing), but I don't support Donald Trump and also think maybe at this historical moment, my sporting of a Donald Trump hat might not be taken ironically as it would be intended. I have a feeling that these hats will be worth a lot of money in about 30 years, though. Will ebay still exist in 30 years? It's hard to say--look what happened to Myspace and Napster. The world is a cold, cruel place.

EMT

 

THIS IS THE BEGINNING

In honor of my first blog post on my new website, please enjoy this picture which I feel encapsulates much about my life. This is a neon beer sign, of the kind you often see glowing in gas station windows, hanging in my father's shower on top of a Claude Monet "Water Lillies" poster still wrapped with plastic against brown cardboard to keep it stiff. If you can imagine, it emits a low buzzing sound that seems even louder in the confined shower space, a sound that, in my mind, increases its possible danger even though I realize its possible danger level (very high) remains the same regardless of the amount of noise it makes.

While this is dangerous, it is also the most dangerous my life as a writer and quasi-academic will probably ever get. So share this moment of danger with me.

EMT